If I could sum up what I have been learning this last year, it would be the words "just ask". God is not incapable because our minds are incapable of holding the thought of answered prayer in tangible form. I've been there a lot. In fact, too often maybe; so much so I wonder at times where the waves of doubt have cast me, but then I look up and He is faithful. He brings us back home even when we allow ourselves pummeled in those waves and all but shipwrecked.
I also need to confess I have a problem with using the word "just," it is a word I allow myself to use all too often. When I use it I seem to give an "inferior" definition, on the phone I say to others, "it's just me." As if they were expecting Ed McMahon to call them and tell them they won a million dollars but they are stuck with me? Or maybe they were awaiting a call from "The Next Top ____ fill in the blank" and their life call is being answered...but it is just me. Why do we do that, do you do that? We minimize our worth- just to set ourselves up, just in case we were going to be rejected...so we take care of it for the other person? I think that is what I am doing...sound silly, crazy? It has served a purpose otherwise it wouldn't be a habit.
What I realized is like many things in life there is a balance before it becomes madness, a fine line of tact before it tilts to crazy. There is doing and overdoing, there is doing and also underdoing. For example there is tidiness, keeping order, and there is extreme obsession...there is tidiness and there is absolute lack of order, absolute mess-city. There is strength in confidence and there is pride, extreme self confidence and then there is totally the opposite with no hope and no belief in oneself, which also sets up for failure as much as pride.
Balance is a key in life.
We also need that balance with our word choices, words become actions. Actions eventually solidify our character. It matters. When we use words frequently we should study what they say about us. What do we really mean when we say them. The true test- if you have children, has your child said your own words back to you and you can trace it back to you when you look deep. Those moments can really be scary. What I mean is, the other day I told my son when he says sorry and does not act like he means it, he may as well not even say it. He has stopped saying he is sorry to me...ever! When he does do something offensive without thinking I ask him to say sorry and he says "mom you tell me not to say it if I don't mean it". Whoops, there is some flawed parenting right before my eyes...I do want him to say sorry but I needed instead to teach him how his actions should reflect this, not tell him don't bother unless he meant it. Maybe I didn't know what he really felt. Parents, we who know all- even how our kids feel, uh no, not all the time. I have learned...just ask. When I think I know that is probably when I am the farthest off. When I think I understand, I better ask again.
This is the "just" I care about and want in my life....to "just ask", "just believe", "just trust".
Just has several definitions you see, I was using the 12th definition in the beginning of my story, but if you only even quickly glance over the variety of uses and colors of "just" (listed below from Dictionary.com) you get a feel for my go- to-choice being so "below the belt" given the intent of the word. Just is a whole and righteously inspired word. It is determined, proper, a compass of sorts, based on truth and right foundation. So when I now say "just ask" I mean the more valor exuding definitions. Just ask! Ask from others what you don't really know about them (tip: even when you think you know, just ask), if something is bugging you about another person, just ask (don't assume you know why they do something or even that they know they are doing it!), Just=exactly and precisely....so we must hit the nail on the head and not be in the approximate area.
A secret about the lesson on balance- there is none when it comes to Love, this is an exception to the rule on balance. Love throws in its lot for the sum. 1 Corinthians 13 states it so clearly if we have gifts of tongues, prophecy, faith and if I give my all for others but have not love- I am nothing. It Believes All, Hopes All and Endures All. It is extreme in nature and fiercely devoted. Balance is burnt up in its fire and passion. That is what is so amazing about God, He has all wisdom and knowledge giving us rules for living successful lives but He lavishes this "unconventional" absolutely "unbalanced" love...where balance would say that is far enough...your loving too much now...slow down there, your investing too much of your heart- God says in passion, burning with zeal and jealous pursuit for His creation- "NO, there is no such thing as too much love, my own Son must go and die in their place so that they may come to me and rest on my chest one day, so that I may hold them and call them mine".
On the next post I will share with you my "turn it around tool" God gave me one night when I was stuck on negative thoughts...