Wednesday, October 28, 2015



If you are a mom or know one you probably have heard yourself or one saying such phrases: "Why is the floor sticky, Momma needs a helper, I need someone to take out the recycling, someone to take out the garbage and why is the floor sticky!". Other popular phrases are: I have told you 1,000 times not too do that, eat with your face over the plate, your pants are not a napkin, who took this out and didn't put it away, I just cleaned that, were you born in a barn, don't forget to scrub feet/face/hands, did you hear me...and I am sure there are many, many more go to statements we mommas use to get our point across.

I was nicely requesting help today after making a large breakfast for my family (I say requesting because I found myself saying the phrases above momma needs...except all of them right in a row just as typed). You see, I had spent the previous day sweeping, scrubbing a floor via good ole fashioned hand and knee scrubbing, scrubbing the bathroom floor the same way, washing clothes- folding and putting away and any other mom related tasks that came up. So I had big intentions, still after being a mom for 18 years, you would think I would have learned by now. But no, I still had big intentions... you know the dream; that once a mom cleans it should stay that way...did I mention I have 3 boys and 2 animals and a husband? So back to my dream, couldn't the house stay clean just for one whole day? No, it won't no matter what tricks I have tried it never stays, I know now this is just a sign of good living and I have had choices over the years; laugh at it or get mad. Why, because a full home is the sign of a happy home, gratitude is more than dirt deep after all.

My husband ended up ending my sentence and I found myself laughing. So after my "the floor is sticky, momma needs a helper, I need someone to take out the recycling, someone to take out the garbage and why is the floor sticky!" My husband gently and humorously added "and someone to get out of my way". He gets me. Some days I struggle with what I really want, do I want you out of my way, do I want you to stop dipping your hands into the food on the stove or oven and testing it and just sit down, or do I want you to help me cook. Do I want you to help with the laundry or might I worry you will screw it up so I will just do it myself. Do I want some support and someone to talk to or do I want to be alone. I don't even know must be hard to live with me, at times a greater percentage than I can realize I am sure! Maybe it is just me that is torn at times with what I depends on the day and honestly my level of anxiety about getting things done or the level of perfection I place on myself and others, then once the things on my "list" are done I would like them to stay done. Hmmmmm, not too much to ask is it? I have found my anxiety is directly influenced by my time spent focusing in on the problems or worse yet the "probability that a problem may occur".

When you can laugh and look around at the perspective of things anxiety has a funny was of dissipating...yes, we are raising a new generation, the next leaders or followers. We are either loving our husbands or becoming the living flesh of the bible verse about the nagging know the one that says it is better to live on the roof of the house than with a nagging wife, sigh (Proverbs 21:9). My family doesn't need to hear bitterness.

Truly this time I did request help very nicely I was a bit proud of myself for once, but it helped me to see the bigger picture of the home and what my part is, rather, what standard my habits paint for my family. My family and my Lord could care less if the rushing around gets the "sticky gone" in my home and it miraculously stays gone. Jesus didn't walk around delivering housewives from "sticky", Martha wasn't healed from sticky floors but she was asked to be more like Mary who was sitting at Jesus feet whether on a sticky floor or not! 
That day I found myself nervously watching the floor as plates flew, syrup bottles moved faster than rush hour traffic, kids ate as they ran around, conversation went on as I was still at the stove preparing and serving...all this hectic-ness and my heart was trying to get a few moments to sit with my family and enjoy some time with them. But still nervously watching the floor with syrup and hash browns already decorating husbands side of the table lovingly dotted with syrup already as my blood curdled as he said "whoops"...

I decided to let it all go when my husband said what he said...really, I had company and I was not alone and that is truly what my heart wants. Home is being filled with light and goodness. Home is about who is there. Is Jesus present? If Jesus were present at my home, would the conversation at the table keep my eyes on the scraps falling, syrup dripping or on the amazing conversation with the King. My job in Christ is to treat my family the way Christ honors me, giving others the attention and patience they each deserve. Each day I have a chance to send my family to the roof or draw them to conversations with the King.  I will chose sticky joy over sticky anxiety anytime....but I need to pay attention to where my attention goes. I can be present and not home, not filled with Christ's goodness or I can be present and lit up with the moment, living in it and not around it. What am I stuck annoying as it is to clean up the entire household and find that one spot with your sock after everything was put in order and you tried so hard to assure it stays that is beyond our control and instead shouldn't we fight for sticky joy? I am going to fight to keep joy stuck to my heart and mind and not allow it scrubbed off in my battles. Fight to remember to look for moments and not at my agendas...after all the lights are on and I want to be here.

I would love to hear your comments on what phrases you have said to your family!

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Not my sight but your sight be won!

I was on a drive today realizing I need to quit losing. I need to quit losing my vision by my own limitations. You've heard the sound biblical advice "not my will but yours be done", well let's also say it is just as applicable to say "not my sight but yours be won" in my life. I need to stop seeing things so differently than you see them, Lord. I need to see heaven on earth and be aware of your heart.  There are those in this life that have the eyeglasses of heaven or if you prefer contacts, then they can have the contacts of heaven (no, this kind do not pop out and you have to dig one out of the questionably clean sink and ponder if it is a good idea to put it back in---where?). Those that have this heaven vision shine it in their writing, in their choices, in their faces, they act different, they sound different. When they do something it is new. When they say something it makes you stop and listen. They have wisdom and counsel as if they are learning right from heaven's teaching. Why do we think this is not possible for all? It is attainable depending on what our "seekers seek".

For me to become a seeker of sight, I need to let go of anxiety and the need to be in control.

There was a book written in the 1960's about two social groups and their status, do remember it? Both cliques were at odds with each other over their perceived status. Both groups had their turf and their status and both were trying to figure out who they really were. There is one character who was different and tried to help both sides and be fair to both. She was even misunderstood but her intent was genuine. This story could probably be written about many high schools across the ages and the country, however.

What if we forgot about these unwritten social rules and just were free to be? Why do we have to have such an "outside dominant" focus anyway? What is real and what is truth, who knows unless we act real. Our vision get's muddled by slop on our windshields. Like the poor soul walking in some really nice clean outfit and a truck powers by hitting a mud puddle spraying the poor one completely from head to dictates to us how we should be in much the same way. This slopping effect in life "teaches" us not to do_____ anymore, not to wear_____ anymore, not to name it, we are encouraged negatively by others just as we are positively supported. Some teaching by group is good; we learn that our friends are not always right. We learn not to eat with our mouths open, we learn that gossip keeps us from being trusted, but we can also learn how to hide the genuine out of exclusion or fear and lack of acceptance.

What rubs off from others can build us up with new skills, encouragement and knowledge but it also has the potential to undo the best of us if we let it in a negative sense become a measuring bar.

Many are the punishments and tactics charged of us for not fitting into the mold, that was meant to be broken.

If the rules are unwritten and not "golden" maybe they were meant to be broken.

What I mean by the above is that people are meant for people, we are meant to help each other, lift each other, two are better than one because they can keep warm, catch each other when they fall and fight back to back against adversaries. However, if the influence is not genuine what rubs off can remove what is good in us, it can shut down the good in us meant to be uncovered. There is a cost and a punishment some groups of people or persons dish out if we try to be ourselves, whether teasing, holding back some treatment, words or thing to influence something from within us. This kind of behavior comes from weakness and not strength and these people are not being genuine. The golden rule is to treat others as we would want to be treated, if a rule or standard someone is holding you to or judging you by is not of life importance, a value or a biblical truth it probably is not worth worrying about. For example, in my high school certain brand names were the rule, if you didn't wear them you were not "in". Who cares, I don't see their status better off now for the jeans they wore didn't carry them anywhere better now.

But when we learn to somehow measure ourselves by what "they" say, think or believe and we start to make little neat piles arranged for others and not ourselves, that becomes a problem. When we cannot remember what we love, that becomes the problem. When we are so lost within ourselves that we forget reasons, that becomes the problem. We cannot believe lies. We were meant to excel in truth. We were created to be real and be unique. Cookie cutters are not unique. Gingerbread men are all baked at 350 for 10-12 min. and they get frosted and end with the same fate, getting ingested. We are not cookie cutter people. Why is it some in the "limelight" do something crazy different and it is the acceptable but in small town USA someone tried to be themselves and they are made fun of, tormented in their own minds for not measuring up or even cast away?

The first time I heard Jesus died for the likes of me I was one confused girl who was in hiding and not wanting to be found. Please know if you are reading this and feeling stuck in a one size, cookie cutter world- that was not the Creators intent. You were created to be uniquely you, one of a kind, worth dying for. Yes, the Creator sent His one and only son so you might live and live abundantly. This I have seen with my own eyes and it is truth. Chains are broken in Christ if we trust Him and ask Him for His life and His eyes...this vision He has which is beautiful, amazing and worth waiting and living for is available for everyone.

If you would like, pray this prayer with me:


My life feels dry like leaves scattered everywhere...there are always reminders swirling around me that make me feel brittle, I am reminded of my failures, my limitations and my hindrances. However, I hear that you want more for me. I can believe with my mind and heart that you are different and you are not like this world and it's works. I submit my life to you and your ways, to your creative power and Holy Spirit. Lord, take my life and blow it all apart! Take the dry places and remove them in your majestic power. I confess I will stop the work of my arranging and striving to make something out of what I have and I chose to surrender it all; good, bad and beautiful to you. You can make me whole, You can restore the truth. Take all the negative words spoken to me and blow them away in your truth, take all the negative deeds done to me and mightily strike them down in your breath, speak your beautiful words of adoration so I can hear them, let me accept the gift of your life given for me. Take what I see and remove the pieces so that I see heavens view on earth as you see it. Let me stop judging myself and submit my heart to your processes. After all I can never measure up but I can trust you, and I simply gain your acceptance by believing in you, (not by doing or being anything more than what I am right this second). Lord your promises are true and I choose to lean on them and not my own understanding. Take what I have known apart and rebuild me according to the beauty you promise, I choose to believe.


If you prayed this prayer feel free to comment.